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Unpublished Paper
Chapter Four: Parenting an Emerging Adult - 101
  • Varda Konstam, University of Massachusetts Boston
Parents of emerging adults are exploring terra incognito. It’s not that there are no rules; it’s that the rules are obsolete. They no longer fit today’s realities. For reasons we’ve discussed (and for others that we will discuss), it’s just not as easy for emerging adults today to jump into the river of adulthood as it was for previous generations. That means parents are likely to remain active parents for longer than ever before. And most of us are pretty clueless about how to make it work. Anxiety is inevitable given the lack of guidance and certainty. However, we can lessen that anxiety to a large degree when we realize that the vast majority of emerging adults will commit to another, have careers and start their own households. They will launch. The best thing we can do to “hurry” the process is probably not to hurry it. If we can learn to let go of expectations and let our grown kids be who they are (not who we want them to be), they’re likely to get to a place of adult readiness faster than if we constantly badger them and send them messages of disapproval, moral judgment and resentment. No one grows in acidic soil like that.
Publication Date
This is a sample chapter from my book manuscript, working title "I Child-Proofed My House But They Still Get In: Launching Emerging Adults Into A Successful Life And Career."
Citation Information
Varda Konstam. "Chapter Four: Parenting an Emerging Adult - 101" (2010)
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