Using the recent discovery of the Hohle Fels figurine as a catalyst, in this article we briefly review the history of scholarship regarding Upper Paleolithic figurines that are often referred to as “Venus” figurines. We integrate this review with a critical examination of the assumptions underlying the “Venus hypothesis”—the perspective that these artifacts are best understood as sexual objects—based on the available data from both inside and outside of the field of Paleolithic archaeology. We suggest that interpreting the figurines in a purely sexual context obstructs their objective, scientific study and has unintended social consequences. Following from this, we consider why the Venus hypothesis persists in the popular media and scholarly research despite decades of reflexive critiques. Finally, building on these critiques, we argue for the importance of contextualization in the study of Upper Paleolithic figurines and discuss new approaches to their study.