Employing rhetorical listening, I attend to the ways autistic authors narrate their relationships with objects in blogs/vlogs. These authors implore readers to engage with autistic object-orientations, unsettling the dominant assumptions undergirding some of our discipline’s foundational interpersonal communication theories, including theories of symbolic interaction, uncertainty management, and self-disclosure. These narratives reveal possibilities for cultivating theoretical orientations and disciplinary practices that are inclusive of neurodivergence. They also highlight the unjust power relations pervading interpersonal communication theory, provide insight into possibilities for transforming these systemic constraints, and reveal critical intersections and innovations among interpersonal communication, rhetoric, and interdisciplinary object-oriented studies.