This article addresses two long standing issues in negotiations. First, what choices should we make to be effective? This article offers a schema for classifying the choices into one of three categories and in so doing, classifies choices based on likely benefits and degree of risk when fashioning an effective negotiation style. The second question is how to distinguish between negotiation style, the subject of this article, and our natural conflict style. By highlighting the distinction between how we want to negotiate (negotiation style) and how we naturally negotiate (conflict style), this article offers a way to become the negotiator we want to be.